i understand what you're saying, and i'm def not posting the whole thing online. just the parts i need feedback on. everybody's comments have helped me tremendously!

i appreciate everyone's feedback. thanks so much!

Be careful of putting your novel out on the Internet (here) before publication. If you intend to get it published, “publishing” it here can be a drawback for potential publishers. Also, you risk copyright violation.

Develop a little private group of a few of your readers here and work with them.

Besides, you want people to buy your book when it's published

Good jo!

Also thought about how he's in a physical prison but is she in a mental/emotional prison, feeling trapped by what seem to be very limiting choices. You can feel the weight of her circumstances crushing down on her. It was easy to connect with Lela because her POV/voice is so strong. Less connection with his POV.

There's great warmth and sense of place in your writing. Loved the connection to our romanticized visions of Queensbridge contrasted with the harsh reality of what life there is really like. That struck me – there's much in our romantic versions of how our lives are going to turn out, and then there's the reality. When Lela fell in love, she had one story that she'd envisioned. Now there's another. I wanted to see a little more of the conflict between dreams/reality but I think that will come out as you get more into their story. Also, the dialogue felt very authentic. Natural and unforced.

Thanks again for sharing, and for asking for feedback.