Comments on: If You Really Knew Me

By: Mandyy616

Mandyy616 — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 09:18:18 +0000

This is great, I think it should be something that people try and answer slowly everyday. Maybe start annoymously or dive right in…. If you really knew me, you would know I feel like I try and try to make the best of what I have, yet I still feel like I must be “to difficult” to love since I have failed at that so many times!

By: Nikita

Nikita — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 23:42:54 +0000

Aaaah another confirmation that I need to continue letting my real self shine through. When I read this, I felt like you were talking to/about me. That mask that I've become comfortable wearing can be so comfy though. I look and seem aloof, intelligent with smart wit. However, honestly, I am a clumsy, goofy big softy, who loves music, who voraciously reads books, who genuinely likes people, does a little arts and crafts , who is a bit country and loves simple things. I definitely get what you are saying cause that mask I wear is such a great protector of my easily bruised heart/ego that I let it take over my life stage and it effectively keeps folks at a distance. I think I put the mask on because after a while I soaked up all the judgment and criticism from folks who really did not appreciate who I am. I am becoming unhappy with the results of wearing the mask because of the confinement so everyday I aim to break a small piece of it off. I desire to feel the sunshine resting on my life like it did when I was a kid. Rest assured I and many others understand your plight and your steps toward living authentically. We are taking some of the same steps too.

By: Nikita

Nikita — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 18:42:54 +0000

By: Gale Mullings

Gale Mullings — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 00:36:41 +0000

Hello Brit,

Great post! Vulnerability is a scary feeling. It's like that trust exercise where you fall backward, eyes closed and hope someone will catch you before you hit the floor. I can definitely relate to the "nobody really knows me" feeling. I am a social but also very intuitive person who does not like to be judged. As such, I compartmentalize pieces of myself and won't share things with potentially disapproving people. For me, vulnerability is letting it all hang out, being who I am, at all times, unapologetically. I have yet to reach that place but I feel it will be beautiful when I do get there.

I find it commendable that you are not yet thirty and have such tremendous insight and self-awareness. "I don’t want to look back when I’m 70 and think, “why didn’t I let myself be great?” As a writer, you tend to bare your soul through words which leaves you feeling naked. You want people to read your innermost thoughts, feel you through your inkings. The hard part is you can control your pen but you can't control how that gift is received. You cannot be certain of the reactions. You just have to trust you have a gift and let it lead you and that means embracing the vulnerability. Write on sista!

If you really knew me, you'd call me Gale.

By: theprisonerswife

theprisonerswife — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:26:24 +0000

Hey Kat, welcome to my blog. I hope you stick around & share your comments and POV with us.

thanks!

By: Kat

Kat — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 00:30:10 +0000

hi brit! i'm kat. this is my first time to your blog. this post is such a great reflection and i look forward to reading more!

By: ericak

ericak — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 23:55:30 +0000

IKR? That's what I said! “You wrote a song called 'Let's Get Married!'” LOL. They were way funny and partying non-stop! I followed them for 3 days (planes, trains and automobiles!) and at the end of the trip, I thought I had developed an ulcer!

By: theprisonerswife

theprisonerswife — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 22:56:44 +0000

LOL@them NOT being able to sing to a SINGLE girl, but able to belt out “Let's Get Married” to thousands. Vulnerability is funny like that, isn't it?

By: ericak

ericak — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 03:09:31 +0000

Great post. I def feel like this. That's probably why I write fiction – so I can express things w/out having to address, or even figure out myself, what's me and what isn't. And what LN said is true: it's easier to express your feelings on a blog than to people you know. But you know what this reminded me of? I was once interviewing that R&B group Jagged Edge. 'Memba them? There are twins in the group who wrote most of the songs. I was road-tripping w/them, we were on their luxury tour bus late at night, talking, and I asked them if they'd ever sung to a girl. And one of the twins was like, “Noooo! NEVER!” Me: “Why not?” Him: “She might laugh at you!” Me: “But you write all these love songs, you sing them on stage…” And he said, “It's easier to say something romantic to 30,000 people than to just one person.” And then like 1o minutes later, he said something kind of sensitive and the one other girl, a really pretty singer who was on the bus, giggled and he jumped up and said, “See, that's why niggas don't wanna be romantic!” LMAO!!!! I think some women are like this but I think MOST guys are this way.

By: ciciwryter

ciciwryter — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 15:52:40 +0000

Brit,
It's truly amazing that you shared this. I could tell that you loved music and that you're funny. I think you are an amazing writer and you've inspired me for so long. Even before I started commenting.
If you really knew me you'd know I was funny as hell too, like could/would/should/might do stand-up funny; that I too feel 'not good enough' as a writer because I'm playing catch-up educationally after spending too many years exiled in a blue-collar job, that I love to travel and am counting down days until my daughter graduates high school next year so that I can go live abroad for a while,that the thing I miss most about my dad being deceased is getting letters from him in the mail.

Okay, this felt like a confessional but it felt good to share. I'm glad to know you Brit and I am happy to see you pushing yourself to grow. I support you and LOVE your writing!! and you are not alone with the need to be a voice for prison reform/issues. My cousin, actually we grew uplike siblings, is incarcerated and it breaks my heart every day. Some of the indignities and expense in trying to keep him connected to his family enrages me but its hard to get people to fight this issue because of the shame involved with incarceration. More people than we could ever imagine deal with this issue. I'll stand with you on it though. Anyway, thanks again for sharing.

Carolyn (gov't name) fam calls me, C.C.